Name::Abq MomFrom::Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Thursday, March 30, 2006
Cost and Reward
The Price of Children
Something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice.
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down.
It translates into:
* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month,
* $171.08 a week.
* That's a mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.
Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich."
Actually, it is just the opposite.
What do you get for your $160,140?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
For $160,140, you never have to grow up.
You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs, and
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.
You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watching Saturday morning cartoons,
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, handprints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.
For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck.
You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and
* coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
You get a front row seat to history to witness the:
* first step,
* first word,
* first bra,
* first date, and
* first time behind the wheel.
You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God.
You have all the power to:
* heal a boo-boo,
* scare away the monsters under the bed,
* patch a broken heart,
* police a slumber party,
* ground them forever, and
* love them without limits.
So . . one day they will like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!
Love & enjoy your children!!!!!!
(I received this as a forward from my grandma)
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/30/2006 09:20:00 AM :: 10 Comments: 
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Tuesday, March 28, 2006
A Photographer's Scavenger Hunt
I had decided that I wanted to try out that 26 Things list like Karen has been doing. I am using the November 2005 list. I used my SLR film camera so I had to wait till I had all my pictures taken then get my film developed all at the same time. I am going to post each picture in an individual post. I took multiple pictures of different topics since I was using film. If you interested in seeing the alternates for some of the topics, you can see them on my flickr account.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:20:00 AM :: 2 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: Majestic
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:19:00 AM :: 1 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: framed
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:18:00 AM :: 2 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: headwear
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:17:00 AM :: 3 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: wrinkled
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:16:00 AM :: 0 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: pattern
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:15:00 AM :: 0 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: in season
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:14:00 AM :: 4 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: upside down
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:13:00 AM :: 0 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: behind
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:13:00 AM :: 1 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: not allowed
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:12:00 AM :: 0 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: next to
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:11:00 AM :: 0 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: emotion
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:10:00 AM :: 4 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: almost empty
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:09:00 AM :: 3 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: a fridge
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:09:00 AM :: 2 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: Left overs
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:08:00 AM :: 1 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: numbered
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:07:00 AM :: 3 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: stickers
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:06:00 AM :: 0 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: up/down
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:06:00 AM :: 0 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: Today's Paper
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:05:00 AM :: 1 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: electrical
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:04:00 AM :: 0 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: flaunt
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:03:00 AM :: 0 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: Underneath
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:02:00 AM :: 2 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: Understated
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:01:00 AM :: 1 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: A Portrait
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 09:00:00 AM :: 1 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: Shapes
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 08:59:00 AM :: 2 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: Out Of Place
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 08:58:00 AM :: 3 Comments: ---------------------------------------
26 Things: Let Go
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/28/2006 08:57:00 AM :: 2 Comments: ---------------------------------------
Thursday, March 23, 2006
"I will name him George and I will hug him and squeeze him... "
When I was in High School, one of my good friends told me that my hair should be in Pantene commercials. She loved to play with my hair, put it in braids or whatever. She would always say it was so soft, and shiny and silky, a beautiful color, and any agent would remiss if they didn't put my hair in a commercial. Wasn't she sweet?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In college my roommates loved to touch my hair. It was a magnet for hands, and not just my roommates. It seemed like everyone wanted to touch my hair. If I didn't like people touching me it might have been a problem.
One semester I dated a guy from my field biology class. I would often go over to his apartment to study. He had two Samoan roommates. They were on the football team, and they were big guys. Andrew never left me alone in the room with his roommates. They were very nice, but secretly he told me he worried about a "Of Mice and Men" moment if he left the room. (Secretly I worried about that possibility a little too.)
One evening I was over at their apartment. We were sitting on the floor studying for an upcoming test. I was sitting with my back against the couch, when one of his roommates sat down on the couch. The next thing I know I was being petted. There was a hand on top of my head that was bigger than my head, just the weight of this hand was amazing. This huge Samoan football player, who could have easily crushed my skull with one hand, was petting my hair. The few times I had been over there previous he had hardly ever spoken more than two words to me, and here he was petting me like a dog, proclaiming that I had the softest hair he had ever touched. Shortly after that, Andrew took me home. It was the first time I was ever nervous when someone touched my hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From the day my son was born up until he was a year old, maybe longer than that people constantly stopped me in the store to tell me how beautiful he was. With that bright white hair, and piercing blue eyes. The most favorite comment was he was a gerber baby. He should be in commericals. After hearing it from enough strangers I believed it must be true. My baby should be in lights! I called a Talent Agency in town and took my son in to see if he would be good enough for commericals, television and movies!
As I was sitting there in the waiting room, there was another agent sitting at the front desk. I believe he worked more with teenagers and adults. He noticed me sitting there with my 6 month old son, and knew why I was there and who I was seeing. Even though he knew I had been "taken" it still couldn't stop him from commenting on my hair. He said I had the most beautiful hair. For a brief moment I thought there was a possibility that I (or my hair at least) COULD be in Pantene commericials, then my son's name was called. If I had sat there for 5 more minutes I might have worked up the courage to ask what he meant.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/23/2006 06:07:00 AM :: 13 Comments: ---------------------------------------
Monday, March 20, 2006
X-Ray Update
I went in Friday to have my x-rays done. I wasn't allowed to bring my children so I had to wait till my husband got home from work. Luckily on Fridays he gets home around 3:30pm.
I rushed to the office because I knew they closed at 5pm. I waited around in the waiting room for awhile and finally had my name called around 4:30pm. The x-rays were done with me standing against a wall. One of angles had to be done 4 times before it came out clear enough. They finished with me at 5:15pm, so I wouldn't be able to get the x-rays till Monday morning.
This morning I started getting ready to leave the house. I went out to the garage to double-check that my husband had left the car seats in the garage so I could use them in the truck today. He forgot! I even thought about reminding him this morning as he left, but I figured he had remembered the past three mondays to get them out of the car I was sure he would have remembered this morning as well. I guess thats what I get for not following a prompting...
I desparately started calling people in the ward to see if they could watch the kids since I couldn't take them with me because I didn't have car seats. One person was willing to come pick up my kids and take them to her house so they could play with her kids while I was gone. She even gave me permission to go to the grocery store on the way home! Woot!
I picked up the x-rays and went to the chiropractor's office. I got curious as I was waiting so I peeked in the envelope to see if there was a write up or something. There was a letter along with the x-rays from the M.D. He commented that he noticed some slight scoliosis in the lower lumbar region. I couldn't remember exactly what that was, but I remember the awkward days in P.E. class when we had to go into the locker room and take our shirts off, and bend over while someone looked at the curvature of our backs. I waited for the Dr. to come in, trying to remember what scoliosis was.
She came in and asked if I had the x-rays. She took them out and put them up on the board. The first one was from the front view. Showing my spine and my pelvis. The first thing I noticed and the doctor commented on was that my left hip was higher than my right hip. 22 millimeters higher. Also she noticed the curvature of my spine. Just ever so slightly. In the x-ray you could see my left hip/ball socket, but you couldn't see the right hip. Even on the side view you could see that my left hip socket was higher than the right. I have a tilted pelvis. She said that at age 27, its good that there's no sign of any bone deterioration. And she was really amazed that my back didn't have more curving in it than it had.
The solution: a heel lift. This little piece of cork that fits in my right shoe, to raise my right leg up ever so slightly so it would be aligned with my left. The doctor said its good that we caught this now at such a young age. Using this little heel lift will help to straighten out my pelvis which will releve the constant back pain, but it will also help to prevent bone deterioration, arthritis, and more problems in my lower back and pelvis. I should have a little muscle ache in my hips and possibly my knees as my body adjusts to the new hip height. I'll take that now rather than the constant back pain in the future, and all the other problems that may come as a result of that as well.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/20/2006 02:21:00 PM :: 10 Comments: ---------------------------------------
Friday, March 17, 2006
Random Friday Bandwagon
I've decided to jump on board before the "Band" wagon got going to quickly and I couldn't catch up.
I have a bunch of little things I want to write about but none of them are strong enough to stand on their own as an individual post.
1. The nasty winds, freezing temperatures, and two inches of snow we got last week didn't seem to hurt the plants and trees that were starting to show that its spring time around here. My day lily seedlings are bouncing back from the freeze, and we have muscari starting to bloom. The ornamental flowering trees around town are in full force blooming now. Everywhere you look there are pink and white trees.
2. Wednesday afternoon my back went out. I don't know what happened, or what I did, all I know is that I stood up from sitting and my lower back was in intense pain. Thursday morning instead of going to tennis I went to the chiropractor. She agreed that my lower back and pelvis were totally out of alignment. She adjusted me and I was immediately feeling better, but the muscles were so tight and sore and inflamed that I was and am still a bit uncomfortable. I spent the entire day yesterday with one of those icy-hot patches on my back. I gotta tell you those things are amazing!
3. Two people had called me yesterday morning to see if I was going to tennis. They wished me luck at the chiropractor and hoped that I would be able to go to volleyball today. I told them I hoped so too. I wasn't able to go to tennis, I better dang well be able to go to volleyball or I might just go into withdrawals. I was feeling good enough this morning that I decided to go. But I told myself I would take it easy. Today was pretty easy to do that. The other regulars that know how to hit, set spike and serve over-hand didn't come today. So it was a very low intensity game. I'm disappointed because a little because those games are boring to me, but at the same time I'm glad because I didn't get too active so I'd have to worry about hurting my back.
4. I seem to have chronic lower back pain. Its even worse when I'm pregnant. From about 16 weeks on. Throughout my second pregnancy I went to a chiropractor. It was so nice, but after every adjustment the problem I had in my lower back/pelvis area never really went away. The dr. suggested that when I'm not pregnant I should have an x-ray done before I get pregnant again. I reminded the dr. of that yesterday, since I'm NOT pregnant right now its the perfect time. I'm going to have my first ever x-ray in my entire life this afternoon as soon as my husband comes home.
5. My daughter I fear, is becoming a girly girl. The best way to keep her occupied at the store or at church is to give her my chapstick. She loves to take the lid off and pretend to put lipstick on. The other day she got my eye shadow brush out of my makeup case and was pretending to put makeup on her eyelids and cheeks. Lately, she's been carrying the stuffed animals around the house like little babies. She asks for a baby wipe which she then carries around with her all day and pretends to wipe the stuffed animals noses and faces. Its really very cute. Even more recently I've caught her trying to share her drinks in her sippy cup with the stuffed animals, and even share her food with them. I caught her trying to make Goofy eat a chocolate covered cranberry. Today while we were at volleyball she was playing in the nursery. I never realized how many baby dolls are in there. She was carrying them around, giving them bottles... Crazy! I don't ever remember playing with baby dolls. Ever. She loves to try to walk around the house in my shoes too. It's very funny, but at the same time it makes me a little scared for the future. What do I do with a prissy girl?
6. Wednesday we didn't go to playgroup. It was too windy and cold. Thursday we didn't go to tennis. I've already told you the reason for that. Because I haven't really gotten out of the house this week, my son W has had horrible cabin fever. He's seriously driving me crazy! Oh and not to mention that two mornings in a row this week he woke up at 5am! Today was better, he didn't wake up till 6am and we got to go to volleyball.
7. We had a guy from our ward come over to look over our bathroom plans. He's a contractor/builder. He liked our plans, and gave us a few suggestions. He confirmed to us that our plans are legal and are actually really cool. He even gave us referrals to companies around town to call. (Or have his office call) so we can get anywhere between a 10-20% discount. This weekend will be spent framing and renting a cement chipper to knock out some of the cement floor for the plumbing for the tub. Should be interesting.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/17/2006 01:35:00 PM :: 8 Comments: ---------------------------------------
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Pinch of the Past
Sometimes in my mommy life I forget what my previous life once was. Last weekend I received a small glimpse, enough to remind me of what my husband and I had in common to form a connection between us.
Last Friday was our anniversary. The entire night was absolutely free. Some friends baby sat. We used gift certificates to see "Fun with Dick & Jane" at the $1 theatre. We used gift cards to eat at Outback Steakhouse. Overall it was a fun night.
~~~~~~~~
Saturday morning we tried to work on the bathroom. That afternoon my husband had his quartet rehearsal. It was a nice sunny afternoon, while my daughter was taking a nap, my son and I worked in the backyard planting some daylilly seedlings. When my husband came home from his rehearsal I was still in the backyard and he started to work on the bathroom again. The phone rang. It was an older couple that we know. They offered us tickets to go to the New Mexico Symphony Orchestra. They would even babysit our kids. Only catch is that the concert started in an hour and a half. We quickly got ready, took our kids over to their house and picked up our tickets.
It was a wonderful night of beautiful music. Throughout the first piece, The Fair Melusina by Mendelssohn I kept thinking to myself how crisp, clean and clear the group sounded. I couldn't figure out if it was the hall, or our seats way up in the balcony or if this group was really good. The last symphony concert I had attended was nearly four years previous in Phoenix. This group sounded so different from how I had remembered the Phoenix Symphony. During the brief intermission before the Flute Concerto started my husband and I had an intellectually musical conversation regarding the last piece. He confirmed my thoughts. This group was WAY better than the Phoenix Symphony had been.
After the Mendelssohn piece a Flute Concerto was performed. It was written in 1993 by Christopher Rouse for Carol Wincenc. She was the one that performed it that night. The piece involves 5 different movements where the music goes from atonal to tonal and back. It was very interesting and virtuosistic (if thats even a word). When the piece was over we sat back in amazement. It sounded like something from a movie score. Very interesting.
There was again a small intermission. We enjoyed the time to read through the program. Read the origins of the compositions and the composers that wrote them. The final piece of the night was Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Symphonie Pathetique by Tchaikovsky. My husband is a huge lover of Tchaikovsky music. Quartet, symphony, ballets. I also enjoy Tchaikovsky, and the emotion and beauty of this piece was quite overwhelming.
We sat mesmerized by the music at the end of the concert. Relishing the opportunity to listen to such wonderful music played by such a magnificent orchestra. Then we returned to the present and that we had two small children that we needed to get to bed. We rushed back to pick them up and hurried them off to dreamland.
The next day, Sunday was to be the afternoon of my first concert with the Concert Band I had joined a few months previous. I was nervous and excited to be a part of a group again, and to be performing for the first time in 7 years. The concert went off rather well, I personally could have done better. I was nervous, and of course a better reed would have definitely helped!
Sunday evening after my children had gone to bed I thought about the weekend. How fun and exciting it was to be involved in the world of music again. For a small moment I had a glimmer of memory of life as a music major, running around the snow building crazy. Like a chicken with its... never mind, you know the phrase. :-) But not even that, just the opportunity to be involved in good music again.
The tickets for the NMSO concert were only $10. We discussed while we were sitting enchanted in that concert hall that was easily something that we could do more often. I think we've both reached that point when we need to remember what was important to us in our previous life and bring a little of that back into our present day lives. My husband is composing again. He's playing in a string quartet. I'm practicing again, and also playing in a concert band. Its time to bring in that third part of a musician's life back into practice. Music Appreciation class anyone?
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/11/2006 11:19:00 AM :: 7 Comments: ---------------------------------------
Friday, March 10, 2006
Giggle Time
I haven't written since Monday! Sorry about that. My last post was so serious. How about a little fun time. Click on this for a laugh! I like you!
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/10/2006 09:20:00 AM :: 4 Comments: ---------------------------------------
Monday, March 06, 2006
Re-evaluating
First of all I want to say how flattering it was to realize that you all noticed my blog was missing posts, and that you showed such concern for me personally. That meant a lot.
A few weeks ago we had Stake Conference. The Stake President met with our Bishop to discuss the state of our ward, and if there was any problems that we're facing in our ward. Our Bishop informed him that our little ward was doing well. That wasn't the case for two other wards in our stake. After meeting with the bishops from these other wards the stake president learned of a growing problem amongst the youth. Yesterday our bishop spoke with all the adults in the ward about it.
As parents we should know what are children are doing and be involved. (Parents - The Anti-Drug.) Apparently there was a whole lot of parents that didn't know what their youth were involved in. We as parents were warned about the dangers of myspace.com. We were told the horror stories of events happening to children in other parts of the country because of this website. Teenagers didn't think twice about sharing personal information. Not only were they putting themselves in danger both physically and spiritually (who knows might use that information to make themselves appear to be the perfect "friend") but were also putting their families in potential danger. (If someone knows the information for Jane Jones, they also know the personal information of their parents John Jones) We were warned that even if we don't have teenage children right now, or they're not using myspace.com not to turn off our attention. There are real dangers out there with people using the informations we so innocently share on our blogs. I wish I could share with you the seriousness of the discussion yesterday, but I just can't put into words here to tell you the importantance of what was said.
After the hour was over, I could have just blown off what the bishop had said. But instead I thought seriously about what I was putting out into the world. I have always thought myself careful of what I put out there available for strangers to read, but I have decided to try to be a little safer anyway. I may think that only the people on my blog roll (my friends) are reading my posts, but I can't know that for sure. Talking with my husband I realized I had two choices, I could either take my blog off completely or I could go through and do some major editing. I knew the second choice would take long hours but I am just not ready to stop my blog writing all together.
I have changed my template. My blog is no longer available to be searched for on the blog search engine. My profile will no longer have my real first name. (And I would please ask that you don't refer to me in my comments or yours by my real name either). And my husband and children's names have been replaced in all my posts with initials. I also looked at the amount of time I spend a day on the computer. I am only giving myself an allotted time a day. I have to have all my other household chores done before I can get on the computer, and even then I will only allow myself to be on the computer during my daughters nap.
I know you may think I am being overly cautious, but I am heeding the counsel of my church leaders and also do what is best for my family. I hope you can understand the basis for my decision.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/06/2006 10:57:00 PM :: 10 Comments: ---------------------------------------
Friday, March 03, 2006
6 year Anniversary
Today is "S" and my 6th Wedding Anniversary. WOOT! For 6 years. I thought I would keep this short and just post a couple pictures from our Wedding Day in Portland, Oregon on Friday March 3rd and our Reception in Kennewick, Washington on Saturday March 4th.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/03/2006 01:14:00 PM :: 5 Comments: ---------------------------------------
Thursday, March 02, 2006
First Spring Color!
This afternoon I went out in the backyard to blow bubbles for the kids. I don't like to do bubbles in the house, too many spills. Besides, we've been in the high 60's-low 70's all week, might as well go outside and enjoy the warm weather. I looked over at the flowerbed and noticed something purple. It was the crocus', they were blooming!
We have crocus in our front yard. (In the grass). I figured that if they were blooming in the backyard there was a good chance they might be blooming in the front. I walked out the front door with the camera just in case. There wasn't any crocus blooming but there were two daffodils that were!
It won't be long before the yellow and red tulips will start blooming too. They're already starting to come out of the ground. Oh, and in case I forget to mention it, we got rain last night. Only a little bit, but still, any little bit counts when you're in the desert.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/02/2006 04:53:00 PM :: 2 Comments: ---------------------------------------
We survived (Our wedding story)
I had always dreamed of getting married in May, and having a reception in my parents backyard. But because "S" was in school we were limited to the two-three week breaks between semesters. That meant we could either get married during the first part of March or wait till July. We knew we didn't want a long engagement, that would be too tough, and waiting till July would be pushing it a little too long.
We needed at least two weeks to fit in the actually day of the wedding, a reception in Washington AND Idaho, plus a honeymoon. We decided on Friday March 3rd. We scheduled the day for the Portland Temple.
Christmas was approaching. "S"'s family was coming down to Arizona for Christmas. It would be the first time I would be meeting his younger sister and his dad. The two times I had visited his house in Idaho his dad was on the road and his sister "B" was at college. "B" was flying into Phoenix. "S" had to work and wouldn't be able to pick her up. The office I worked for would be closing at Noon. I would pick her up. The only thing is I didn't know what she looked like! I talked to her on the phone the night before. I was told to look for a blonde short-haired girl wearing a black leather jacket. I drove around the airport three times before I saw her. I don't know how many times I passed her before I realized it was her though. I was supposed to go straight to their grandparents house from the airport. I still wasn't completely familiar with the freeways and surface streets, "B" hadn't been there in like 10 years, and every time "S" and I had gone to his grandparents house he would take a different route. "B" and I were like the blind leading the blind! We eventually found the house but probably after an hour at least driving around Tempe! At least we had a bonding moment! "S" wouldn't be off work for a few more hours, and his family wasn't supposed to arrive till later that evening. "B" and I decided we needed to go do something, her grandmother suggested we go see a movie. Great idea. We went to a $1 theatre close by and decided to see "SuperStar!" (Another one of those Saturday Night Live skits made into a movie). When the movie was over it was dark outside, but we managed to find our way back to their grandmothers house.
We arrived to find that "S"'s family were already there, but "S" wasn't. Apparently he had called while we were at the movie, and he was really sick. He wouldn't be coming over to their grandparents house that night. My first time meeting his family officially as his fiance' was by myself!!! We spent a lot of time talking that night. Christmas morning came, and "S" was still feeling under the weather, but good enough to at least make an appearance. Their grandmother wanted family pictures taken. Even though "S" and I were only engaged, she wanted me to be in the pictures. While we were standing there for the large extended family picture, "S"'s uncle loudly asked a question of the photographer. "If this engagement doesn't work out, can you digitally remove her from the picture?" It was just a joke, and everyone laughed, but I think he was really just saying what everyone else was thinking.
New Years Eve we went to a single adult dance. We got all dressed up in formal attire. New Years Day we had our wedding announcement pictures taken.
Valentines Day, he gave me his sweater. We were counting down the days till we left to drive up to Washington for our wedding. One night we were talking, and I mentioned that 2000 was a leap-year. "S" replied "you mean that if we got married on any other year we would have one less day to wait till we got married?!?!" I thought that was pretty funny.
A week left till our wedding day. Here was the plan as we had it in our heads: We would drive "S"s truck up to Washington. On Thursday we'd drive with my family to Portland. We would be staying at my mom's cousin's house for the night. Friday morning we would be married. All of the family would drive back to Washington, and we would spend out wedding night in Portland, then drive back to Washington Saturday morning for the reception Saturday night. Sunday morning we would go on our honeymoon. I had booked a cabin at Lehman Hot Springs in the Blue Mountains near Pendleton, Oregon. From there we would meet all the family in Idaho for the second reception in his home town.
This is what actually happened: The day before we were supposed to leave to start driving up to Washington "S"s truck wouldn't start. We couldn't risk the chance of the truck breaking down on the way up to Washington. Instead we bought last minute plane tickets and flew into Spokane where my dad and brother picked us up. Thursday we drove to Portland, with my parents, and stayed at my mom's cousin's house. My aunt had been making my dress. She still wasn't finished with it. Thursday night, my mom stayed up most of the night sewing on the decorative pieces onto my dress. Thursday night we also had a special family dinner at the hotel planned my "S"'smom. "S"'s dad did a wonderful slideshow presentation of pictures of "S" and I as we grew up. Friday morning we drove to the Temple and were married. Immediately following, we rode with my parents to the hotel room my grandparents were staying in. My parents and grandparents shooed us into the bathroom to get changed. We were going to take turns, but they insisted we were married now, we could both go in and change at the same time. (embarrassing? uh ya!) After changing clothes we went to Chevy's for another family dinner. My grandpa wasn't feeling well, so my dad suggested that "S" and I drive their car back to Washington with my grandparents in the backseat. We finally get back to Kennewick, and convinced my dad to let us use his car. We then spent out wedding night after a long day, in a hotel room in Kennewick. Saturday morning we went to the church to help set up for the reception. The reception was beautiful. Sunday morning, again after convincing my dad to let us use his car we drove to our cabin in the blue mountains. The hot springs was closed to the public for the whole week we would be staying there. It was only the two of us on this snow covered mountain range. Our first night there was a huge snowstorm. The power went out for a few hours. The rest of the week we had no idea what time it was, all the clocks were blinking 12:00. The end of our honeymoon we drove back down to Kennewick, where we rode with my parents to Idaho. My dad grew tired and couldn't drive anymore so we stopped for a night at a hotel in Burley, Idaho. Before we could speak up, my dad booked one room, with two double beds! The next morning we drove the rest of the way to "S"'s parents house where we had the second wedding reception. Some of our old Music Major friends came up from Provo, Utah for our reception, along with some of our old friends and roommates that were still in Rexburg. The next day Shane's sister "B.W." drove us to the airport in Salt Lake City where we flew back to Phoenix, and waited for "S"'s roommate to pick us up. We had moved all of our things into our new apartment before we flew up to Washington. We toasted our first night in our apartment with a bottle of sparkling cider a co-worker had given me as a wedding shower gift. We survived two weeks of events that we hadn't planned on and never could have forseen happening!
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/02/2006 10:30:00 AM :: 8 Comments: ---------------------------------------
"I need you to be with me..." (How we got engaged)
That Labor Day weekend, my roommate Becky S. and I drove down to SLC to spend the weekend with my grandparents. Becky had just broken up with her boyfriend, and wanted to get out of town. We were both feeling quite depressed.
Two weeks had passed since I had last seen "S". He was in Arizona starting out a new life, meeting new people, looking for a job and getting ready to attend DeVry. I wanted desparately to call him. I didn't think to give him my phone number so he could call me. I hadn't called him during those two weeks. I really wanted to, but I felt it was important to give him some time to get settled before I called.
Sunday night, after a C.E.S. fireside, I decided I would call him. Arizona was an hour behind Idaho so I waited till my roommates had all taken their turns calling their parents, and had gone to bed. I told Becky I was going to call him, and I snuck out to the living room. The phone rang a few times before anyone answered. My stomach was doing somersaults during those few long drawn out seconds. One of his roommates answered the phone, I asked for "S", and then there was a clunk as the receiver was placed on the table and they searched the house for him.
I heard him say "Hello?" All I said was "This is 'D'." I almost didn't get my whole name out before he interrupted me telling me how glad he was I had called. He went on to say "I was an idiot for leaving you there in Idaho. I need you to be with me. I realize now how much I care about you. You need to move to Phoenix." On his drive down to AZ everything went fine till he was a mile from his apartment. The water pump went out on his truck. It stopped running and he coasted to a stop practically in front of an auto-repair shop, they helped him push the truck into the shop. He was having a really hard time finding a job, and that night he also had gone to the C.E.S. Fireside, and that was when he realized that he had feelings for me.
I was on the other end of the phone silently sobbing. I looked at the phone in confusion. This wasn't the same person that I had known throughout the past school year. What happened to the "S" I knew? It took moving three states away to realize that he cared about me. We spent two hours talking on the phone that night. By the end of the conversation we knew we were going to get married. We didn't know where, we didn't know when. We had discussed the number of children we wanted, and when we would see each other again. I hung up the phone, crawled on to Becky's bed, woke her up and the two of us bawled. I'm glad there was no cameras in there, it wouldn't have been a pretty sight!
General Conference weekend was approaching. (First weekend of October), and we tried to make plans to meet each other in SLC. The weekend came, and "S" had finally gotten a job the week before. He wouldn't be able to get the time off to come up to Salt Lake. Another Music Major friend of ours, Kiersten went to Salt Lake with me instead. We had a great time trying to keep my mind off the fact that "S" wouldn't be able to come to Salt Lake City.
"S" and I emailed constantly, and talked on the phone almost every night. ( I got a roommate and her mom quite angry with me one night.) We figured the next time we'd see each other would be after I finished that semester. After Christmas break, I would move to Phoenix and get a job, and get engaged!
It came as a surprise in the second week of October when I was told that my student loan for tuition hadn't been approved. All the money I had made from my job over the summer was used to pay for my housing. I had a little over $100 left in my savings account. My parents couldn't pay for my tuition, my only other option was to withdraw from school. I took the last little bit of money I had to my name, plus a little a friend loaned me and bought a plane ticket from Salt Lake to Phoenix. I drove down to my grandparents house in Salt Lake, and then flew to Phoenix. It was important that "S" and I see each other in person, just in case what we were feeling was all just in our heads. We could have been imagining the whole thing, but until we saw each other in person we wouldn't ever know. It was the first time I had flown by myself, and on top of all the nervous feelings I had about seeing "S" again, I had butterflies in my stomach the entire flight. Good thing its only 1 hour between SLC and Phx.
Since this was before 9/11/2001, "S" was able to meet me at the gate as soon as I walked off the plane. It was so comforting to immediately see him as I walked out of the gate. I walked over to him, and he gave me a hug. At that moment all my fears and worries had melted away. I knew that we were going to be together and that I know longer had to worry about when I would see him again. (He later told me that as soon as he saw me walk off the plane he knew we would be together.) I hadn't eaten anything in forever, so he took me to Wendy's. He started to tell me about this movie that he had seen. Scariest thing ever he said. In Rexburg you're pretty much in a bubble, no one has a t.v. and if they do they're not at home enough to watch it. I had no idea what he was talking about. Apparently the movie was "The Sixth Sense". He took me to go see it that night. After the movie, we went to a park where we could walk around and talk. We sat on a parkbench and talked for a little while, and then he kissed me. We had known each other for over a year, and that was the first time we had ever kissed.His roommate had arranged for me to stay at an apartment that belonged to some girls that were in their ward at Church. All parties involved felt it was best that we observe the Ricks College standards while I was there. That weekend we went water-skiing at Lake Pleasant with his roommate and one of the girls from the apartment I was staying at.
That night we went to a family party at "S"'s grandparents house. This involved dinner, dessert, and party games with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was a little scary at first, but it was a lot of fun. At the end of the night when "S" and I went to leave, everyone gave me a hug and told me they were glad to meet me. "S"'s cousin Jamie who was about "S"s age, and she had already been married for a few months gave me a hug. During the hug, she whispered in my ear "You're perfect for my cousin!" It was just a little shocking and surprising, but so funny. The next day we went to Church in the singles ward, and Monday morning "S" took me to the airport, and I flew back to SLC, and then drove back to Idaho.
When I got back to Ricks, I waited till the end of the week to withdraw, pack up all my belongings back into my pinto, and said goodbye to all of my friends in the Snow Building Music Department. My roommates had all gone out of town Friday night, my last night in my apartment at Ricks was spent alone. I wouldn't allow myself to sit at home and feel sorry for myself, I called up Kiersten and we hung out with a bunch of our old friends that had come up for a concert. When I returned to my apartment, I found a card and a box of muffins. Inside the card was a note from "S"'s old roommate and his new bride wishing me luck with my future endevors, and that "S" and I would make cute babies!
Saturday morning, I woke up early and drove home. The plan was I would return home and go back to work at Shari's. I surprised my parents with the announcement that I was pretty much engaged. They said they didn't know I was even dating anyone. Truth was, I hadn't!
I worked at Shari's every possible shift I could pick up until Thanksgiving. I also had a couple of wisdom teeth removed while I was home. "S" started his first semester at DeVry November 14th. Thanksgiving time grew closer. My entire family would be going to Salt Lake for Thanksgiving at my grandparents house. "S" would be flying up to Salt Lake to spend Thanksgiving with us, and meet my family. Before this he had called my dad one night while I was at work to officially ask for my hand in marriage. How romantic. While I was still in Idaho, "S" had asked me what kind of ring I wanted. I looked through a few ring store ads till I found one that I liked and I mailed the picture to him. Leading up to Thanksgiving "S" kept telling me that my ring was being sized, that I wouldn't be getting it anytime soon.
I once again packed up my little pinto with as much of my stuff as I could. My brother drove with me down to Salt Lake. My parents and other brother had left the day before. "S" had only bought a one-way ticket to SLC. After Thanksgiving he would be driving with me back down to Phoenix. Tuesday before Thanksgiving we left to drive to Salt Lake. I had a cold so my brother volunteered to drive for me. You know when you're driving and you're changing elevations your ears get plugged up? That happened to me, I tried to pop them, but because I had a cold it didn't go so well. I don't know what happened but all of a sudden my ear was in searing pain! We finally got to my grandparents house and I was in tears! I called "S" from their house and told him about my cold, and my earache. He would be flying into Salt Lake Wednesday evening. I hung up the phone and cried for awhile. My mom gave me some ear drops and that helped a lot.
Wednesday evening came. I had planned on going to pickup "S" at the airport by myself. But again because I was sick my parents wouldn't allow that. They went to the airport with me. I saw him walk out of the gate with a bouquet of red roses. How sweet! (He later told me that he had planned on proposing to my right there in the airport but because I was sick, and my parents were standing there, and there was a ton of people he decided not to.) We went back to my grandparents house and sat in the basement with my parents, brothers, grandparents and one of my (male) cousins. Just as I had been put through the grinder a month previous by his extended family, my family grilled him for every minute detail of his life that night.
It started to get late and my cousin left, then my grandparents went to bed. "S" and I went upstairs to sit and talk. We were sitting on the couch holding hands and talking when all of a sudden he jumped off the couch and lept for his coat that was lying on the couch opposite of us. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a white box. He then got down on his knee and proposed to me that night! My ring still getting sized was just a ruse to throw me off from suspecting when he'd officially propose. I don't remember what he said when he proposed, but I do remember that he wanted it to be "official" before we met all my extended family the next day at Thanksgiving dinner. He didn't want them to think I was driving away with some guy that wouldn't even give me a ring!
Everyone was surprised to see me with my ring the next morning. But very excited too. Friday morning came and I hugged all my family goodbye and "S" and I drove to Phoenix. The apartment that I had stayed at when I visited in October had a vacancy, I was able to move into their apartment. I spent the first couple of days in Phoenix job hunting, putting in applications, and interviewing. I had gotten a job at Red Lobster and I would start the following Monday. I even had the tacky multi-colored shirts with fish all over. Sunday night came and I would be starting my job at Red Lobster the next morning. I just didn't feel comfortable with it, so when Monday morning came I called and told them I wouldn't be taking the job. Instead I drove downtown to a temp agency that "S" had gotten his job through. I did their little skills test, and that night I got a phone call to report to a receptionist job downtown. I would be working for a Cable Advertising Company. I worked as a temp through the whole month of December, and in January I was hired as a full-time employee of the company.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/02/2006 07:38:00 AM :: 2 Comments: ---------------------------------------
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
"What I'll be doing for the next three years of my life..."
Winter semester ended. I drove home with my dad looking forward only to returning to my job at Shari's Restaurant for the summer. Then returning back to Ricks that fall to finish us a few classes before I graduated. Before leaving for the summer "S" and I had exchanged addresses and phone numbers. It made me feel better knowing that I could at least keep in touch with him, even if I never saw him in person again.
The first thing I did when I got back home was create an email address for him. He wasn't really familiar or comfortable with the internet world and I thought I would help him get into it. Instead of waiting a few days for a letter, or a few weeks before making a phone call we could email each other which was instantaneous.
This may sound really silly, but I bought myself a cheap little ring. I would wear it on my ring finger to remind myself that I liked "S" throughout that summer in case any "distractions" came along.
I'd call him every so often. Sometimes there would be no answer, sometimes his sisters would answer and tell me he wasn't home. (I later found out from his sisters, that he would see the caller I.D. and know it was me and tell them to answer the phone and tell me he wasn't home.) I'd get emails from him every so often telling me about his summer. Looking for jobs, working the potato fields, applying to University of Idaho, looking for apartments and roommates, 4th of July, and going to Lake Powell.
One weekend my roommate from school came up to visit me for the weekend. She lived in Boise, and together we drove to Seattle for a weekend trip. We went to the Seattle Symphony, walked all over downtown, toured the Space Needle. It was so much fun. The whole time I thought of "S". I put together a little care package of random little things I collected while we were in Seattle. I also took pictures of my favorite places around my hometown. I sent those pictures along with the Seattle care package.
The end of the summer was nearing. I was counting down the days and weeks till I would return to Ricks, and the music department. Most of my friends had gone on to other universities to persue their Bachelor's Degrees, but I still had a few friends that were staying one or two more semesters to work on generals classes, or a second major.
One day I came home from work to find the house empty. My parents were both working, one of my brothers was up at scout camp as a camp counselor, and the other brother was at work too. I changed my out of my smoke-stenched work clothes and into some comfortable summer clothes. I sat down to the computer to check for any new emails from music major friends or old roommates, or even more shocking an email from "S".
To my surprise, there in my email in-box was an email from "S". I was excited to click on it and read what he had to say. Most of the emails throughout the summer was telling me about the frustrations of finding an apartment at U of I, or things associated with starting there that fall. I began to read his email, and was shocked to be reading the words on the screen. He wrote me saying that he had changed his mind about going to University of Idaho to study music. One day while writing or reading an email from me he saw a banner ad about The DeVry Institute of Technology. A representative from the school came to his house and talked with he and his mom. He was no longer going to U of I, but would be starting at DeVry in Phoenix in November. He has relatives in Arizona and would be moving there after a family reunion over Labor Day weekend. The closing line of his email was "So I'm moving to Phoenix and will be studying at DeVry. This is what I will be doing for the next three years of my life."
I closed the email, and turned off the computer in shock and dismay. I had been telling myself all summer long that the following fall semester I would be starting at Washington State University and I would be close enough to "S" to continue our friendship and see each other again. If he moved to Arizona I told myself I would never see him again.
I read over the email many times trying to read between the lines for any subtleties I missed before. My only small glimpse of hope was in the line saying he would be moving to Arizona Labor Day weekend. I would be back at Ricks (30 minutes from his home) a week before he would move. I quickly composed an email suggesting that we get together before he moved to Phoenix. I had to go back to school a few days early to help run the audition process for the Symphonic Band , that I would call him when I pulled into his hometown and we could meet up.
The day finally arrived that I would be driving back to Ricks. I had packed up my little '76 Ford Pinto as well as I could the night before, and woke up before the sun was even thinking about rising. I said good bye to my mom and was on the road before 6am. Its a 9 hr drive to Rexburg, and I was bound and determined to shave off as much time as I possibly could. My little pinto didn't have air conditioning. It was late august, and that was part of the reason I wanted to get on the road as early as I could, so I could get as far as possible before it got too hot outside. As I drove I sang along with my Indigo Girls cds and contemplated my arrival at "S"'s house. What kind of reception I would get? What his family was like? Would his mom hate me? Every so often I would look down at the speedometer and realize I was going close to 90 mph and let my foot off the gas. My foot was in just as much of a hurry to get to his house in Idaho as my mind was.
The drive went fairly quickly. And I never even got pulled over. Luckily... I pulled into town and stopped at the gas station, at what I think was the only intersection with a stop light in town. I called hiss house, and luckily he was home. He gave me directions to his house, and met me in the driveway. I remember his sister was washing the car in the front yard listening to Shania Twain playing really loud on the stereo. We sat and talked for a little while. Then he suggested that we go get something to eat. I hadn't showered before leaving that morning, and I had been driving all day in a car with no air conditioning in late august. I was allowed to take a shower first. YAY! After I was dressed and showered he took me to this little Mexican restaurant in Firth. I don't think its even there anymore. The food was unrememberable, but I do remember that I dropped a bit of food from my fork and it landed on the front of my shirt. "S" started laughing and referred back to the "shelf" joke we had joked about on Valentine's Day. For desert they brought out these little cream puff things, "S" dared me to try to put the whole thing in my mouth in one bite. He did it, and I couldn't stop laughing enough to try. Finally I was able to collect my composure and shoved the thing in my mouth. I obviously didn't have as big of a mouth as he did because I had bits oozing out the sides of my mouth, while at the same time trying not to laugh and snort it out my nose! After dinner we returned back to his house, when I said goodbye and then drove to my apartment in Rexburg. I was determined that I would see him again before he moved.
The first week of school went by. I knew he would be leaving for the Family Reunion in Utah Friday morning before heading down to Phoenix. Thursday would be my last chance to see him. Thursday afternoon after classes my roommate "B" and I put together a care package. She knew "S" too, she was a music major with us. We took a box and wrapped it in composition paper, and filled the box full of little do-dads. Granola Bars, Hershey kisses, and then tons of random things. But we made a list of every single thing in the box, and WHY it was in the box.
Composition paper-in case you get inspiration for a string quartet as you're driving to Arizona.
Granola Bar-in case you get hungry on your drive.
Quarter-So you can call 'D'.
notepad-so your roommates can take a message when 'D' calls.
pencil-so your roommates have something to write with to take a message when 'D' calls
you get the idea, there was a ton of things in this little box just like that.
We planned to meet up Thursday afternoon/evening. I drove with my care package in hand. We played a game with his little brother "St", and then took his sisters and brother to Artic Circle for Ice Cream. It was so fun to be with his younger siblings. As we were leaving Artic Circle he gave me his new phone number in Phoenix, and I gave him the care package. I was walking to my car, and watched him help his siblings into the truck. He got in and started to drive away. The care package I gave him was still sitting on the roof of his truck! I took off running as fast as I could across the parking lot waving him down before he built up too much speed and the box fell off the roof. (His brother "St" says his first real memory of me is running across the parking lot to them waving like a mad-woman. "St"is 10 years younger than "S"). I was really embarrassed to be running like that, but I spent so much time and energy putting that together I didn't want it to just blow off the roof onto the road, and never see all the things I put in it. He kinda smiled/laughed as I handed him the box again, and then I watched them drive away. I thought to myself, "that's the last time I'm ever going to see him again. We may be able to talk on the phone, but I will never see him again. I hate that the last memory he will have of me is running across the parking lot after his truck like a maniac."
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/01/2006 04:20:00 PM :: 2 Comments: ---------------------------------------
"Guy, who's name we can't remember..." (How We Met)
It was first day of classes, Fall Semester 1998. Heather L. and I were walking from Pep Band Rehearsal to our first Sophomore level music class. We walked into our first class, Music Theory. We recognized pretty much everyone in our class, it was a sophomore class, which meant they were in our classes the year before. There were a few guys that we didn't know however. We immediately knew they were return missionaries that had gotten a year of school in before their missions.
There were two sitting next to each other on the back row. The chairs were arranged into a half circle, in two rows. Heather and I sat on the front row of chairs and turned to introduce ourselves. They told us their names and we told them our names. Music Theory met on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. So for the first few weeks the same thing would happen when Heather and I would walk into class from Pep Band. These two guys would be on the back row, we'd would sit in front of them. We'd turn around and say "Hi Jared, uh, hi guy who's name we can't remember..." He'd tell us his name, and by the next class we'd forget again. We eventually started to remember his name. I think it was so hard for us to remember his name because he was so quiet in the class.
He was also in my Aural Skills class that met Tuesday and Thursday. He was very smart, and very talented. Our mid-term assignment for our theory class was to write a small piece that would be from the baroque period. I was also working in the piano lab as a tutor, and he would often come in to use the computer and piano to write out his piece. He wrote an awesome fugue. I remember hearing it when he'd unplug the headphones from the piano.
That guy who's name we couldn't remember was "S". That fall semester I was too busy playing. I was much more interested in the outgoing, loudspoken, into themselves type guys that semester, along with an illness I had been fighting that semester, I only remember "S" after that semester once I connected him into my memory. Does that make sense?
I had failed my Music Literature class that fall semester, and had to retake it Winter Semester. I had figured out what was causing my illness, and had decided to swear off those egotistical guys all together.
Winter semester, "S" was in my Music Literature class, and Keyboard Harmony class. I had just taken Music Lit the semester before and was determined to do well this time around. I could have sat near the front of the class with my close friends like I had done the semester before, but this time around I sat near the back of the class with a different group of friends. "S" was sitting one row behind and three chairs to my left. I noticed him sitting there, and remembered him from my different classes the previous semester. This time something clicked in my head. I was attracted to him this time, but more than that I knew he was really smart, he got this music stuff no problem, and he had perfect pitch, I knew that would come in handy for music recognition part of the class. I was recovering from Larengitis, I passed a note asking him if he wanted to be study partners. It was purely for a selfish reason, I wanted a better chance of getting a good grade this time around and I knew he would be the one that would help me do it. Oh, and I took really good notes the semester before, and would be taking even better notes this semester as well. He agreed to be my study partner.
A few weeks later there was a dance coming up. Emily E. and I were talking about how the dance would be stupid and we should go out on dates that night but NOT go to the dance. And that we would ask a couple of guys (also music majors) to go with us. I asked "S", and Emily asked someone else. They agreed that it would be fun to go out and do something fun other than the dance. Plus, the guys knew that if they went with us they'd have an excuse if someone else asked them to go to the dance. A couple of days before the dance Emily informed me that she and her date had decided to go to the dance afterall, and that "S" and I should go with them. I asked "S" about it and he was adamant that he didn't want to go. So I told Emily that we wouldn't be going to the dance with them.
The night of the date arrived. We had been studying together a couple times a week for a couple of weeks now. We were pretty comfortable with each other by that point. He arrived at my apartment. And then he asked where Emily and her date was. He had misunderstood, I told him they were going to the dance and we could still go if he wanted, but he didn't want to. So we went out ourselves. On a date that wasn't supposed to be a "date".
We went to Gringo's for dinner. We had pleasant conversation, and I followed polite date etiquette. I waited for him to order first so I would know how much he was spending on his meal so I could aim below it. He then asked about boyfriends. Uh-oh. He wanted to know how many guys I had kissed. uh-oh again. I told him, his response was "oh, you're experienced!" Then he told me he had only kissed one girl. uh-oh. But at the same time, I knew that meant he was much different then all the other guys I had ever dated or been interested in. He was quiet and mysterious, he was serious, but could be silly when he wanted to, and he wasn't an egotistical jerk that was keeping a running tally of all the girls he had made out with either.
After we left Gringo's he went back to "S"'s apartment. He was getting nauseous from the smell that restaurant left on his clothes. All his roommates were home, and I was put through the meatgrinder while he was changing his shirt. Two of his roommates had also been his companions on his mission. They asked me tons of questions, and then showed me a ton of pictures from the mission. I wondered how "S" was feeling at that moment. We hung out on the couch in his apartment and watched Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore, one of the two, it was on t.v. He asked what we should do then. I had told him that a bunch of my roommates were meeting up at the $1 theatre to see The Waterboy. He thought that sounded like a great plan. We waited outside in the cold for quite awhile to get our tickets to the movie. While we were standing in line he took my hand in his. "Wow", I thought. "He voluntarily took my hand and is holding it!" We got our tickets and found our seats with my other roommates.
After the movie, he walked me out to his truck and took me home to my apartment. As he walked me to the door, he told me wasn't ready for a relationship. I remember blurting out "We can take it slow!", I felt like such an idiot. He left me standing there at the door as he returned to his truck and drove away. I walked into my apartment absolutely crushed, and totally confused. I spent the whole weekend in tears. I knew I would have to see him again on Monday in class, and was worried that night would ruin our friendship. My biggest fear was that he wouldn't want to be my study partner anymore, that things between us would be uncomfortable and that we'd never talk again. Monday came, and he acted like nothing had happened. I was so relieved!
As I got to know him better, I discovered he had a deep love for his family. He would go home on weekends (his parents house was only lived 30 minutes away). And I remember one weekend hurrying home because his little sister was sick. He cared about his mom, and his dad. And that impressed me a lot. I learned a lot about him as we continued to be study partners and friends. I tried as hard as I could to make sure that my feelings for him wouldn't be known, but I guess everyone and their dog (including him) knew that I liked him. So much for trying to hide it. But I did try. I didn't want to do anything that would possibly hinder our study partner relationship. I did the "heart-attack" surprise for him on Valentines Day. And he would volunteer to help me set up for Band parties.
Every so often I would think, "oh he likes me too", but then he'd do something that would totally throw me off and make me think he very much disliked me. One of his roommates would run into me on campus and tell me not to get discouraged with how he acted, and give me tips. Looking back, its pretty funny.
He would go out to lunch with me and my roommate to Fong's. That was so much fun. Michelle would tell me afterwards that he was the coolest guy.
As the semester dwindled down I found myself worrying more and more about what would happen when the semester ended. I had found that I had grown very attached to him. I was planning on coming back the next fall for one more semester, but he was planning on going to University of Idaho the following fall.
I took him out to breakfast on his birthday. That was a surprise for him. He thought I was going to do some big surprise party with the whole music major group. I knew he wasn't into that so it was just him and I. I got him a music composition encyclopedia set, and also made personalized composition paper for his birthday. (Like on the Wedding Singer. Funny, not until now did I realize how much Adam Sandler was involved in our relationship...)
The last week of the semester was a frantic one for me. I only had one week till I thought I would never see him again. I needed him to know how I felt, but without freaking him out, but at the same time, still get a lot of studying in for our final exam for Music Literature. Things were very weird that week. One day would be great, the next day he'd blow me off and "forget" our study appointments. I think I was constantly in tears that week, and throughout the semester for that matter. (Ask Proud Mum, she witnessed every tear-streaked moment of confusion throughout the semester. It was common for me to burst into her practice room and interrupt her practice time.) During that last week of the semester is when he took all the hearts out of his locker and pasted them to the front of all the other lockers in the locker room.
The very last night of the semester was the toughest. My dad had come up to move me home, but I wanted to see "S" too. But I just couldn't say "'S' come meet my dad. Dad meet this guy I have secretly crushed on all semester long." I don't think I did see him that night. But I made my dad go to the graduation with me the next day. If I couldn't talk to him, I could at least see him play with the orchestra one last time for the graduation march. He did give me his phone number, along with the phone number that went to the office phone in his bedroom. And that's how the semester ended. My long term plan was to go to WSU the following year. WSU and UofI were only like 8 miles apart, so I figured that eventually there would be a good chance of running into him again. Until then, I would keep in touch with him through letters, phone calls and emails. Holding out for the chance that he would begin to feel for me what I felt for him.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 3/01/2006 01:58:00 PM :: 7 Comments: ---------------------------------------
