Monday, January 15, 20072007: You can keep it!
'Cause, Baby! I don't want it!
The over a foot of snow we received on my birthday and the day after has finally melted. It's taken three weeks but it's finally gone. It took the city and everyone here over a week just to get dug out from that storm. My birthday plans were cancelled as because the whole city was shutdown. I even had to call the babysitter and tell her we wouldn't be picking her up. We had contemplated celebrating my birthday the next day but idea of just making a quick run to the grocery store for milk was squashed. My car got stuck in the driveway! Happy 28th birthday. Snowed in.
Three weeks before christmas my brother was arrested. He sat in jail for two weeks. Back in october his roommates were arrested for drug possession and parafanelia. Because my brother's name was on the lease they came back and arrested him two months later.
I have been sick beyond belief. My husband has informed me that this will be our third and LAST baby because he can't stand seeing me so sick and he doesn't like all the extra work he's received because of it. The thought makes me sad.
I've known since May that the time would come. It was inevitable. I made the trip up to Washington with my kids in June so I could make sure to see him before it happened. No one ever thought he would make it this long but they didn't know the stubborness that resides in my grandpa and runs through my veins as well. From Christmas day on he was pretty much not conscious. He wouldn't wake up to eat or take his meds. On my birthday when my grandma called to wish me a happy birthday she told me they didn't think grandpa would make it to the New Year. Well of course he proved her wrong too. He always liked to do that. So that first week of January was tough. Every time the phone rang I dreaded answering it. If the caller ID showed up as my parents calling I had an axiety attack. I knew it was coming. I was having dreams of what I would say if I were asked to speak at his funeral. Then the call finally came. Saturday January 6th. My grandpa had finally passed away in his sleep Friday January 5th at 9:30pm. That last week he was in the hospice the nurses gave him morphine patches for the pain.
Then came the decision of figuring out what to do. Last minute plane tickets were expensive especially for a family of four. I could have flown up by myself but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle everything by myself. I needed my husband to be there. Plus throw into the mix that there would be a storm on our heels on the 20 hr drive up and another on the 20 hr drive back. Do we even go? 20 hr drive with two little kids with possible bad weather and a sick as a dog pregnant lady couldn't make for a good combination. There was the possibility of renting a minivan and riding up with my uncle and brothers but we didn't want to put them through 20 hours of listening to our kids crying.
We finally decided we would drive up by ourselves in our own car. There was major concern about needing tire chains. But of course I would have the car with the size tires and wheels to make it impossible to have chains. I spent the entire day last monday making phone calls looking for chains. We we got our first storm on December 19th everyone freaked out and bought out all the chains in the ENTIRE STATE! Not to mention the second storm that dumped over three feet in parts of the city on December 29th, there wasn't a single set of chains to be purchased anywhere! Finally I found someone that had a set of chains that would fit my tires back in a warehouse. I was thrilled. But 4pm on Monday I was practically in tears. I had spent more time on my cell phone in that one day that I have on a cell phone in my entire life. I was getting yelled at by total strangers JUST BECAUSE there was a cell phone up to my ear. When I bought the chains and took them out of the box to look at them I discovered that yes they would would work on my size tires but not that size tire on MY car! The tire sits in closer to the strut and with that chain on the tire the locking mechinism would rub against the strut and eventually make a hole that would leak oil and there would go my car.
We were lucky enough to have dry roads all the way up to my parents house. The last hour the kids finally fell asleep and there was silence. That's when I started noticing a weird grinding noise coming from the right rear tire. My first thought was a piece of gravel got up in the brake but that's the front wheel and the sound was coming from the back wheel. When we got to my parents house I told my dad about the noise and he took apart the wheel to discover that we had a bearing go out. If we had ignored the noise that bearing could have been thrown the entire wheel could have come off while going 80 mph down the freeway. Luckily my dad was able to fix it for the cost of parts ($50) rather than having to take it in and pay over $500.
The family joke going around while up there is that being the stubborn man my grandfather was he would wait to pass away for the coldest week. His funeral would be held on the coldest day and relatives would have to travel through treacherous weather conditions in order to get there. All of those things were true.
The evening of the day of the funeral all the extended family from my grandpa's side that made the trip up from Boise came out to my parents house for a visit. It was a great time with lots of stories, laughter, jokes and sharing. My grandpa's younger brother told some great stories about how his "love affair" with a 1937 Ford truck came to be. I will have to make sure to write that story down later on. My husband was a part of both of the musical numbers at the funeral. He accompanied my grandma's SIL while she sang and then my mom accompanied him while he played violin. Even without it being played at a solemn gathering the piece he played brings tears to the eyes of all who listen to it.
My grandparents opened their home up to make foster children adopting the first two. They opened up their home to a Native American education program and had a number of children live with them during the school year so they could receive an education. One of those children was there at the funeral and at the family gathering that night. He talked to us about many native american traditions. He is Cherokee from Montana. And that night while out at the house sang a song in honor of my grandpa while playing his drum and then another song on his indian flute. It was a long emotional week and though we were sad that grandpa was no longer with us there was peace and comfort in knowing that he is no longer suffering in a body that was failing him. He suffered for four years from Multiple Myaloma. A cancer of the white blood cells grown in the bone marrow. It hurt him just to move an elbow.
I know all of these things happen for a reason and that there is opportunites for growth and they are learning experiences but come on do they all have to happen at the same time? I haven't had the chance to get over one thing before the next thing happens. I could use a break from all these opportunites for spiritual and emotional growth.
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 1/15/2007 11:03:00 AM :: 6 Comments: ---------------------------------------