Monday, November 14, 2005

Silly fears

My biggest fear is that I have done(or will do something) that offends someone. I am always afraid that I've said something or done something that will make (or has made) someone not want to associate with me ever again. After conversations with someone I sit and knit pick and analyze everything that was said and look for something that I wish I hadn't, or had said a different way. I wonder if they're thinking "geez, she's not as cool as I thought she was". I seek out approval, I need that validation. I do something I think is cool, but I can't wait to hear what others think (blog comments included). Why do I do that to myself? Its one of those things about my personality I wish I could change. Can I? Will I ever? Will I always seek out validation? Will I always care what people think?

If I go for a few weeks or months without hearing from someone I begin to think of things that I might have done to make them not want to talk to me anymore. Is it really my fault? Why do I constantly think I've done something?

Please validate that I am not a loser, that I am a cool person, that I do okay things, and that you like reading my posts. Please. If you don't, of course I will understand...
Posted by ABQ Mom :: 11/14/2005 08:18:00 PM :: 12 Comments:

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